Infatuation Vs. Investment

08 Mar, 2025

I have a "bad" tendency to purchase or dive into things with the "I'll eventually..." mentality.

This has happened with many-a-things in recent years, especially when I started having my own income.  

These are some of the stuff I bought that I had once regretted or felt ashamed that I purchased without really thinking if I would be able to commit to it long-term:

1. A Sony A6400 camera with its kit lens
2. An Instax camera
3. A SteamDeck OLED
4. Numerous games on Steam/Nintendo Online
5. Unread books
6. Headspace subscription
7. A TrimUI Brick

Typical Considerations

My typical way of deciding if something is worth purchasing is thinking about whether:

• It can bring joy to my life
• It can make me more comfortable when I'm doing something
• It can boost my productivity
• It can last long without replacing/too much upkeep

Some things easily fall into those categories.

One such expensive item (for me, at least) was the Logitech Lift mouse I got in 2023, which has provided me with hours of comfort and reduced my wrist pain. The price was tough to swallow then because it was definitely about 150% more than a typical wireless mouse. Still, I've watched and read enough reviews to understand that it could be a valuable item. I work with many spreadsheets during my working hours, and my hand would cramp after a whole day of that. I really liked that the mouse had additional buttons where you map it to do what you want - and I had it set so I could click one button with my thumb on the side, and, I could use the scroll wheel to scroll through a spreadsheet horizontally. It's a quality-of-life thing I never knew I wanted till I tried it.

I love my Logitech Lift. It's been my daily driver mouse from the day I got it and I probably would replace it with the exact model if it dies tomorrow, unless I find a better alternative lol. It's justifiable for me: it helps me make money.

But when it comes to things that bring me joy... That's complicated.

Guilt & Joy

I like my cameras. I like that I'm able to take nice-looking pictures, and specifically for the A6400, I'm able to dive deeper into learning more about the art of photography, and the technical bits, and just have fun. But... did I actually do any of that?

Not really. I rarely go on trips nor do I go to many places as my days are filled with university and work. I'm at home during the weekends half the time. I don't feel particularly motivated to shoot anything or tinker around with the settings. I learnt the basics of the exposure triangle... and that's about it. I brought my camera on one trip, and it was more of a chill-in-the-AirBnB type of trip, so it was used sparsely.  

I don't work on improving my skills because I feel overwhelmed with the amount of resources available. This is contradictory to the reasoning I gave myself before making the purchase: "Well.. there's a whole lot of things I can learn and do with the camera! It'll be fun to learn."

My camera is in my cabinet, waiting to be used on my next trip. That would (hopefully) be in May when we'll be taking the train from here to Hatyai. It's pretty exciting, but it makes me feel guilty that I'm not using it at least once or twice a week.

On the contrary, there are some things that I could find justification for after a while. The SteamDeck and the TrimUI Brick, although pricey (and you can argue that the Brick has overlaps with the Deck and even my phone), both brought me a lot of joy. And I know that I can use them for at least 3 or more years.

Thoughts on Why I Feel What I Feel Now

I've been told by my partner repeatedly that it's okay to treat myself. And to some extent, I know he is right. I wish I could wholly agree that it's okay to splurge on myself, but I also have the logical side of me that wants to save as much as I can for the things that I would really use and derive value from.

I think:

• I associate the length of time spent using the thing/engaging in the hobby associated with the thing itself with the value too much.
  • As I use my cameras rarely, and only pull those out during special occasions/trips, it feels like I'm not getting enough value to justify the price tags on these things.
• I don't put enough value in things/experiences that bring me joy
  • As mentioned, I have no qualms about paying for my mouse. I would also probably be comfortable replacing my laptop if it goes kaput. That's because I know I need it to go through school and work, and it will bring me monetary gain. But things like games, hobbies, and random cute things (though I rarely buy these) make me feel immense guilt shortly after purchasing these things. So much so that it impacts my attitude with the items themself.
    • It's a self-perpetuating cycle where when I feel guilty about said thing, which then pushes me away from wanting to engage with it. Some thoughts that I would have:
      • "I should be using that more..."
      • "I feel bad that I'm not engaging in x, y, z, - I've already spent money on it."
      • "I shouldn't have gotten it since I don't use it enough to justify the price anyways."
• I get too excited about possibilities rather than the realistic aspects of things sometimes

  • When I'm interested in something, I will read/watch a lot of content covering the said thing. I would seek comparisons, the best tips to use/learn the thing, and hop around all this content until I convince myself that it's something I want and need. However, realistically... I don't have the time to do a lot of these things at this point. I have a lot of hobbies and interests, and most of them take a lot of input and time from me and adding on more stretches me thin. I feel like I'm not cultivating much depth in a lot of them, which makes me feel unfulfilled at the end of the day.

    Yes, it would be great that I could learn more about x,y,z, but I am finite, and I need to really filter out what is important to me.

• I would feel pressured to make use of these things as much as I can, and in the best or most optimal way possible. It overwhelms me too much that I do everything else but engage with it. Perhaps associated with my perfectionistic tendencies, something I want to consciously separate or pull away from.

Reminders to Myself (and maybe you too)

To my future self, let's consider some of these points before purchasing or perhaps deciding on what you want to put your money or energy/time into:

• Is it something that can make you happy? Is it the idea of owning the thing or what it can actually do? We want to prioritize the latter.
• Is it something that can help you do something else more easily? Quality-of-life improvements are good.
• Is it something that you can purchase later and still be fine without it? Unless the thing is limited or on a discount, perhaps leaving it to simmer a little more in your cart could be good for you to ponder the purchase decision.
• Is it something that can provide you with perspectives/experiences? Books and games are good, as long as we take into account what we realistically can play/read in the next few months.
• Is it something you can see yourself diving deeper into, learning the intricacies of it? Cameras and hobbies with a potential for rabbit-holes (good and bad) can be fun, but, they're a commitment if you want to dive into something beyond a casual user.
• Is it something that can broaden your skills set? If so, is it something you have the mental capacity or time to invest in?
• Is it something that holds value? Are you able to sell it or potentially pass it on to someone who would appreciate it?

Now, these guidelines aren't always going to fit everything I'm deciding on, but it's a start. I find myself being overwhelmed with feeling excited about the possibility of having something before making the purchase, and it overshadows my more rational side.

I like things. A lot of them are nice to have. But they're, again, nice to haves and not what I need. At this point in time, I want to focus on things that add value to my life, whether that's through bringing joy to me or improving small quality-of-life aspects of things.

This article is in a way, a sort of journal entry. I've been thinking a lot about how I approach buying things and thinking about hobbies. I'm almost to the end of my undergraduate degree and I find myself less and less time to allocate in each individual interest. I don't want to create "fantasies" that aren't achievable at this point in time, and I don't want these hypotheticals to come in between myself and financial stability.

I've been thinking of this ever since a lecture we had with Dr. E. He was sharing about the actions he was presently taking to create a more psychologically rich life. It made me contemplate and created the desire in me to evaluate what I feel could help do that in my life. I think spending more money isn't it, for now, as much as the buyer's high feels.

There's no conclusion to this - I know myself and I can be fairly impulsive when I've set my eyes on something. But I'll try to remember that I wrote this article, and use it as my personal accountability.

And to remind myself: My homie, you're not perfect, and you will never be. And you don't need to be. It's okay.

"And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good."

To those who share a similar mindset (or not), I would love to hear perspectives on this or if you have any thoughts :)

[30/100] for #100DaysToOffload

#100DaysToOffload #personal